Stepping into the realm of 1-2-1 coaching can evoke a myriad of emotions – from excitement to trepidation. It’s like peering through Jocari’s Window, a metaphorical framework that unravels the layers of self-awareness and personal growth. Here I’ll share my experience, and how it can help you better achieve your goals.
I started my coaching journey simply because a trusted friend of mine said he thought it would be good for me. That and the fact that I was deeply lost in terms of career fulfilment! It was a very unusual experience for me, having been used to time-bound agendas for what would be discussed, and often a sense that I needed to prove myself week in week out with the boss. Instead, my coach spent 60 minutes with me deeply listening to what I was saying, helping me to reflect on what mattered with supportive and probing questions. In front of me I have my notes, and some questions that came out of that very first session: “What are my milestones for being?” “What is worth the fight?” “What if my weaknesses are part of my strength?” That’s a far cry from any developmental journey I’ve experienced with line managers from work.
The Journey Begins: Peering Through Jocari’s Window
The experience was one of observing myself in a new light. This is what coaching is: a unique vantage point for self-reflection and introspection. It has (and continues to be) a journey that unearths hidden facets of my leadership style, beliefs, and areas of growth. In terms of Jocari’s window, I have been narrowing the “blind self”, and increasing what I know about myself.
It hasn’t been easy by any stretch of the imagination. Discussion on career path has led to a reappraisal of what I value in life, and involved a major shift in my self-identity. I continue to battle against the idea of “when I am x” I will be happy, and am thinking more about how I want to be on the journey. And the hardest part has been when my coach asked me to adopt the perspective of my daughter, and then of a trusted friend observing my daughter and I, as we interacted. It made me sad to realise how I have not been living my values of compassion and kindness with the person I love so deeply.
What does it feel like?
I tell all my clients the same things when we start, irrespective of whether they are there to improve their wellbeing, build a high performing team, or get the next promotion:
- I’m not here to be your friend, but I will be your fiercest champion.
- You are not here to look good, and I’m not the perfect coach – so let’s be transparent and open.
- We need courage to move forward. On my side, I am willing to risk our relationship by saying what I feel is most beneficial for you to hear. On your side, to invest in this relationship your hopes, fears, and dreams.
- If there isn’t any discomfort, we are likely still skirting around what matters most to you to work upon.
The last point is really important. Growth seldom transpires within comfort zones. This discomfort signifies transformation progress, and speaks to breakthroughs and personal evolution. For me, one such point of discomfort was realising how attached I have been to status, and how this both sustains me and holds me back. Bottom line though, each session brings forth a deeper understanding of oneself, paving the way for enhanced leadership capabilities. The potential discomfort is well worth it.
Conclusion: embrace the transformative voyage
Embarking on a 1-2-1 coaching journey is not just a professional investment; it’s a personal odyssey. It’s about confronting discomfort, embracing growth, and evolving as a leader.
As you venture forward, remember that this expedition through Jocari’s Window offers an unparalleled opportunity for self-reflection, growth, and ultimately, becoming the best version of yourself, both as a leader and as an individual.
Are you ready to be courageous and committed? I would love to help you see what is ultimately possible for you.
